How to get appreciated.

Don't we love when some one appreciates us?
" You did a great job!" , " The meal you cooked is delicious" , "you really helped me".
Sounds nice to listen to. But mostly we dont get appreciated, our efforts are mostly taken for granted.

In the Parenting seminar, I also learned about how to appreciate :
Dont just say words like : nice, good, great, or wonderful, super, etc.
Describe in detail what you like or what you are seeing.

Like when Yashvi brings one of her drawing (they are just lines... straight curved... whatever, but just lines!) So how to appreciate her?
If I say " this is nice" , she will be happy, but still will not improve.
And I am lying.
So instead, i have to tell her that i liked the balloon shape she has made... (actually it is like a closed shape resembling a circle -  attached to a line) and she is really happy now. because she knows that when she makes a circle and a line, it is a balloon... it is not just a scribbling.

Or when she was trying to help me in kitchen, I didnt say she is creating mess or that I liked the way she is rolling the puris.
I just said - "I really liked that you are helping mummy." - Thats her effort. It is not her fault that she is not an expert in rolling the puri. Atleast she wants to help.

And the side benefit I got: appreciation for every little thing I do for her :
Yashvi actually says things like :
" I really liked that you made bournvita for me",
"I really liked that you played with me, instead of going to office",
"I really liked that you took me to fair",
 - getting appreciated for such trivial thing is really Awsome.

So conclusion : Give Appreciation - Get Appreciation.

By the way this works for everyone, your spouse, your boss, your driver,... simply anyone.....

Try it and tell me your experience

Parenting - What I Learned

I completed a very informative and very effective Parenting Workshop in last two months. I learned something I already knew and somethings that I didnt knew.
I would like to share each things one by one with my own experience.
The first Day of workshop and the first technique : Listen to your child with full attention.
Simple.
And As Simple , as effective.
I would listen to Yashvi (my almost 3 year old) sometimes with full attention, but somethimes with half attention - while I am cooking, cleaning, watching TV.
In response, she would also not listen to me when she is playing.

When I started listening to her, she in turn started listening to me.
We have set a rule of communication : When some one speakes to you, look at them. And it works both ways.
Now I dont have to shout again and again when I want her attention.  And I get to hear lot more stories. I get to enter her wonderful world where every thing is so beautiful and enjoyable.

And one basic thing I learned in this workshop : Children are your mirrors (with magnification of atleast 10 times may be more) . So you do good things, they do good things times 10. You behave bad, they behave bad times ten.

Playing Chess with Yashvi

I am mother of a 2 Year and 9 Month Old Daughter... She is nearing her third birthday.
Her name is Yashvi and she is very active and energetic. I call her Duracell - you know the never say die batteries. I feel like I am one of the other rabbits in its ad, which gets exhausted easily.. and she goes on and on.

She loves to play all sorts of games with me. We have started playing Chess recently. Chess is anything but a game for a 3 year old. But we still enjoy playing it.
These are the rules that we actually follow :
1. One Gets all Black Pieces and another one gets all white ones.
2. Black ones "Out" the white one and vise versa. (Killing something we dont like)
3. Play turn by turn. One Piece moves in one turn
4. After you out a piece, your piece has to take its place
And yes, only single piece per square.

Seems pretty primitive rules. But still are very complex for my little daughter. She still somehow manages to follow all these rules for atleast five mintues a day.

Just sharing this cause, sometimes we underestimate the kids and their capabilities. And recently I learned that the capabilities in a child can be increased just by trusting him / her. If you can trust that he/she can do something, she will be able to do it. Just show her your trust. Motivate Her.

Tell me how you motivate your child.