Appreciation - For EveryOne

We purchased a ShoeRack the Day before yesterday. It was the ready made - ready to assemble kind. So we had requested the assembling service.

Yesteday the person came to assemble the Shoe Rack. He completed his Job. I signed the Job Card, Gave him some water. He Left.
Suddenly Yashvi remebered something : We forgot to Thank him.

She told me in an urgent voice that we had forgotten to thank him. It was such a great gesture that I couldnt stop her. We called the person and thanked him for doing a nice job.
And you should see the smile on his face.
I had noticed in his Job Card that he had such 8-10 Jobs that day and ours was the last one. And most probably the first one where someone actually thanked him and meant it.

The seed of Appreciaton I Planted is Growing

How to get appreciated.

Don't we love when some one appreciates us?
" You did a great job!" , " The meal you cooked is delicious" , "you really helped me".
Sounds nice to listen to. But mostly we dont get appreciated, our efforts are mostly taken for granted.

In the Parenting seminar, I also learned about how to appreciate :
Dont just say words like : nice, good, great, or wonderful, super, etc.
Describe in detail what you like or what you are seeing.

Like when Yashvi brings one of her drawing (they are just lines... straight curved... whatever, but just lines!) So how to appreciate her?
If I say " this is nice" , she will be happy, but still will not improve.
And I am lying.
So instead, i have to tell her that i liked the balloon shape she has made... (actually it is like a closed shape resembling a circle -  attached to a line) and she is really happy now. because she knows that when she makes a circle and a line, it is a balloon... it is not just a scribbling.

Or when she was trying to help me in kitchen, I didnt say she is creating mess or that I liked the way she is rolling the puris.
I just said - "I really liked that you are helping mummy." - Thats her effort. It is not her fault that she is not an expert in rolling the puri. Atleast she wants to help.

And the side benefit I got: appreciation for every little thing I do for her :
Yashvi actually says things like :
" I really liked that you made bournvita for me",
"I really liked that you played with me, instead of going to office",
"I really liked that you took me to fair",
 - getting appreciated for such trivial thing is really Awsome.

So conclusion : Give Appreciation - Get Appreciation.

By the way this works for everyone, your spouse, your boss, your driver,... simply anyone.....

Try it and tell me your experience

Parenting - What I Learned

I completed a very informative and very effective Parenting Workshop in last two months. I learned something I already knew and somethings that I didnt knew.
I would like to share each things one by one with my own experience.
The first Day of workshop and the first technique : Listen to your child with full attention.
Simple.
And As Simple , as effective.
I would listen to Yashvi (my almost 3 year old) sometimes with full attention, but somethimes with half attention - while I am cooking, cleaning, watching TV.
In response, she would also not listen to me when she is playing.

When I started listening to her, she in turn started listening to me.
We have set a rule of communication : When some one speakes to you, look at them. And it works both ways.
Now I dont have to shout again and again when I want her attention.  And I get to hear lot more stories. I get to enter her wonderful world where every thing is so beautiful and enjoyable.

And one basic thing I learned in this workshop : Children are your mirrors (with magnification of atleast 10 times may be more) . So you do good things, they do good things times 10. You behave bad, they behave bad times ten.

Playing Chess with Yashvi

I am mother of a 2 Year and 9 Month Old Daughter... She is nearing her third birthday.
Her name is Yashvi and she is very active and energetic. I call her Duracell - you know the never say die batteries. I feel like I am one of the other rabbits in its ad, which gets exhausted easily.. and she goes on and on.

She loves to play all sorts of games with me. We have started playing Chess recently. Chess is anything but a game for a 3 year old. But we still enjoy playing it.
These are the rules that we actually follow :
1. One Gets all Black Pieces and another one gets all white ones.
2. Black ones "Out" the white one and vise versa. (Killing something we dont like)
3. Play turn by turn. One Piece moves in one turn
4. After you out a piece, your piece has to take its place
And yes, only single piece per square.

Seems pretty primitive rules. But still are very complex for my little daughter. She still somehow manages to follow all these rules for atleast five mintues a day.

Just sharing this cause, sometimes we underestimate the kids and their capabilities. And recently I learned that the capabilities in a child can be increased just by trusting him / her. If you can trust that he/she can do something, she will be able to do it. Just show her your trust. Motivate Her.

Tell me how you motivate your child.

I do NOT support Anna

It is pointless to support Anna. Even if the Lokpal Bill is passed ,will the corruption will stop? I think not. What is the guarantee that the Lokpal , Lokayukta and members themselves will not be corrupt? Are we sure that they will not take bribe? Ofcourse they will take bribe, they will be after all Indians.

Corruption is in our blood. Our parents start teaching us to take bribe by offering “a bike if you come first in class”. We would rather bribe the policeman than to wear a helmet or wear a seatbelt. We like the black money more than the white money. We blame the Government for being corrupt. But we forget that they represent us. They just have more opportunity to take bribe than us… There was only one Mahatma Gandhi in India, there is only one Anna, but there are countless Kalmadi, Raja, miners, and who not… We should not forget that the corruption is also widespread in business as in government. Remember Guru? (And that was nothing compared to the condition today). As an individual, can you say honestly that given a chance, will you not take bribe? That given a chance, you will not take any money that you don’t deserve? What if you find 1000 rupees note on road? Will you keep it or give it to police (kidding right!?)? 

Read in news today about Japan. After five months of the Tsunami, the Japanese are still clearing the rubbles of fallen houses. They found 5700 safes on shore and in the rubble…They returned the safes to officials. And the officials returned them to the right owner.  Approx. 7.8 crore dollars found were returned to their owner. Owners who have shifted, no clue where. Their current known address doesn’t exist anymore thanks to Tsunami. Officials don’t know if they are alive or dead. But yet, they were found (are being found) and given their money back. Something to learn. This is something not possible in India.

Sorry Anna!! Even if you get the Lokpal bill to pass, we won’t stop corruption. 

Or we will?